Falling From Grace

I took this shot last weekend at the Santa Barbara Zoo and it has haunted me ever since.

There are many different animals in the S.B. Zoo and it's pretty amazing to walk from section to section. Each group has their own energy: The tortoises remind me of older people trying to walk from one place to another, the sea lions appear to just want to play with you, and the eagles look like they want to kick your ass -- and they could.

So a group of us visitors stood there staring at the gorilla locked up in his spacious cell (as if any cell can be spacious enough) and it got me thinking. Even with his unfortunate circumstances, even with strangers coming to gawk and scream and taunt him, he still maintained a state of grace (and happiness?) that is virtually non-existent in our world.

Some people have become so consumed by WINNING and GAINING and getting ahead that they have lost a lot of the elegance and wonder that comes with just being human. They value work over family and money over happiness. They wander from situation to situation, from opportunity to opportunity, all with the hope of getting to the next level. The problem is that there is never a top level, just one after another, like a never-ending stairway. And they take us along on these rides, through advertising and branding, materialism and social pressure.

Every once in a while, when I'm feeling pushed in by these forces, I pedal way up a steep hill and look out on the city I live in. There's a spot at the top of Westridge Road -- a lone pole at the top of a peak -- where I can stop and see everything: the buildings in downtown, the San Fernando valley, the ocean and Catalina. I reach down, touch the rocks and dirt, and suddenly, I'm no different than that gorilla, sitting in the middle of my beautiful cell. Grace.