A Marketing Messup

You've heard me rant on an on about how screwed up our education system is in the U.S. Most of my musings have focused on our primary education system and how it fails to prepare our children to excel in a modern world. But I would like to digress...no, actually, I would like to take a big U-turn by telling you that most of our country's advanced education system (except maybe doctors and masseuses...make that masseuses) is made up of a bunch of ego-maniacs spouting follow-me catch phrases to the willing.

At this point, you might be wondering to yourself, "What the hell does this have to do with the bottle at the top of this post?" Good question. Allow me to explain.

So I'm walking down the aisle of my local market with my wife after a delicious Japanese meal at Taiko (did I mention how much I hate shopping for food after eating? It's like re-freezing ice cream you've left out on the counter overnight -- what fun is that?). All around me in the stores are signs advertising this and that. Marsha's determined to find food to feed the rugrat and, since I'm not hungry, I'm walking around aimlessly -- kinda the same way I walked through all of those Houseware shops after we got engaged. The only good thing back then was that I had the portable barcode wand and could do screwy things like add a Christ Dip Plate to our registry.


But the market is different and so, stuffed to the gills from too much brown rice, I'm looking around at Protein Bars to help lose a couple of pounds. And then I see it. I don't know how I had missed it walking in. In fact, it was all around me, on banners and signs and little stickers.

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Maybe it was the sake, or just sheer exhaustion, but my mind went a little wild for a second and I could have sworn the sign said MAYO, like MAYONNAISE. And I'm thinking to myself, hhm, I don't think I've ever seen an ad compaign for one of my favorite items centered around the most logical thing in the universe: itself. Duh. These ad agencies have been so busy working on ways to get us to believe that Led Zeppelin wrote the jingle for Cadillac and that cows really do get together and talk about cheese that they've missed one of THE most simple and important campaigns in our lifetime.

Mayo has gotten a bad rap in the new world. It makes you fat, it's white/yellow and clumpy and, like a senior at an old age home, it doesn't smell very good if you leave it out uncovered all day. But here's a chance to turn it all around. Cinco De Mayo -- it's not just a party, it's a condiment. Think about it. No more B.S. i-this, i-that. Mayo can finally have it's own day. It sure would kick ketchup's ass.

So my message to any of you would-be or be-marketers out there is this: cut to the chase. Our world has become so crowded and so connected that you can't follow in other people's footsteps anymore -- you've got to strike out on your own and break new ground.

Just don't make it Mayo Margueritas.